Chasing Big Goals in Your 30s & 40s: FKTs, Identity Shifts & Starting Over
Colleen and I vibed immediately on this one, and it turned into one of those conversations I didn’t want to end. We went from talking about setting an FKT on Kilimanjaro to unpacking something a lot bigger: what it actually looks like to go after something that doesn’t fit neatly into a timeline.
We talked about confidence, doubt, long-term goals, identity shifts, and that weird in-between space where you know you want something more…you just don’t fully know what it looks like yet.
And honestly? It felt like one of those conversations I needed to hear just as much as I needed to have.
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The Reality of Big Goals (And Everything That Comes With Them)
One of the biggest things that stood out in this conversation was how long Colleen sat with this goal.
Five years.
Not a clean plan. Not a perfect timeline. Just continuing to move toward something that mattered, even when she didn’t know exactly how it would play out. And that’s the part we don’t talk about enough. We’re so used to goals needing structure, deadlines, and a clear path forward. But some of the biggest ones don’t work like that.
They evolve. They stall. Life gets in the way. And sometimes confidence isn’t loud or unwavering, it’s just continuing to show up anyway.
We also got into something that I think a lot of people experience but don’t say out loud: not everyone is going to support what you’re doing. Early on, when Colleen shared this goal, it was dismissed. And instead of pushing harder, she pulled back. Kept it close. Protected it.
And honestly, that mattered. Because later, when she found the right people, the ones who actually believed in what she was doing, it changed everything. It’s a reminder that not everyone deserves access to your goals, especially in the early stages.
The Part No One Talks About
She spent five years chasing this.
And then she did it. Set the FKT. Came home. And had to sit with…now what? That part? No one really prepares you for.
We talked about the post-goal blues, the identity shift, and the questions that come up after something that big. Not just what’s next, but who am I now without this thing in front of me?
And I think this applies to so much more than athletics. We spend so much time chasing something, whether it’s a goal, a job, or a version of ourselves, and almost no time thinking about what happens after we get there.
There’s this assumption that you’ll feel fulfilled, settled, done.
But sometimes it’s just…quiet. Or confusing. Or a little unsettling, but that doesn’t mean anything went wrong.
You’re Not Meant to Stay the Same
This conversation kept coming back to one thing: you’re allowed to evolve.
Especially in your 30s and 40s, when there’s this weird pressure to have everything figured out and stay in your lane. But the reality is, you’re not meant to stay the same.
The way we talked about it felt really simple: you’re still you, but the shape of you changes. The pieces are all still there, they just fit together differently depending on the season you’re in.
And instead of fighting that, what if we leaned into it?
What if the goal isn’t to have everything mapped out, but to stay curious enough to follow the things that keep showing up?
Connect with Colleen
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/m_cmacdonald/
Website: https://colleenmacdonaldathlete.com/
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